Oh, hi.

Confessions:

-I still have to finish a paper for a class.
-The royal wedding had me trying to copy Kate Middleton’s makeup and hair this morning. Not exactly her wedding hair, but her usual hair.
-The following photos are not the most flattering, but they make me happy nonetheless. CAUSE I GOT A MASTER’S DEGREE.

LOL, Oh Grad School

It’s after 10 pm, and as I begin a huge assignment that’s due tomorrow, I have just come across a paper that I wrote for a class in the first two weeks of the grad program I am suddenly two weeks from completing. It’s sort of sad but funny to see just how far I have not come.

Rekindling the (Writing) Flame

In describing my relationship to writing, there are too many possible ways to begin; we share a passionate yet tumultuous history. I suppose I should skip the part where my first grade teacher allowed me to sit out during class lessons, encouraging me instead to cultivate my poetry and short stories. That I won first place in a local contest with the story of a princess who befriends her hero rather than marrying him doesn’t belong in a graduate level paper concerning academic writing. Yet I’d like to linger there a bit longer, savoring the memory of young love, when writing was fun, relaxed, and fulfilling, our bond not yet strained by the weight of high expectations, personal shortcomings, or outsiders seeking to control the terms of our relationship. Suffice to say somewhere along the way, those obstacles—those normal aspects of the education system—emerged, things cooled down, and the relationship became on-again, off-again, at times more serious than others but also never truly over. There’s been blogging, two years of consulting at the writing center, and a devastating failed honors thesis. Today, as a graduate student, I realize that it’s time we work out our differences and commit for the long run. That, or call it quits.

Inspiring Myself

It’s official: I’m defending my Master’s project this week, and considering that my “committee” is comprised of exactly one person, there’s little chance of anything going seriously wrong. I’m nervous but ultimately already feel a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. The semester is going to start winding down (actually, winding down usually involves first winding up, but at least the end is near). Soon I’ll be able to turn my attention back toward, well, myself. I am excited to put more effort into getting dressed in the morning again. To be active and creative. To go thrifting, (attempt to) refinish some old furniture, or at least do some spray painting. To go camping (anyone?), swim in the ocean, visit a new city. To take photos, test new recipes, try out that Bollywood dance DVD, make my own natural cleaning products, write letters…the old fashion kind…no, not email.

Lately I have been feeling that while there is so much beauty and creativity available for consumption via the internet and magazines–inspiration that can be and has been wonderfully life-changing–I long to inspire myself. To live my own inspiration. To experience, to create, to do. Not that I’m completely tuning out of all the sources I normally turn to for eye candy or recipes or decor ideas (I’m looking at you, Emily–I can’t believe I know this girl IRL). Just toning it down a bit until I’m ready to participate too.

Travel is still on my mind almost constantly. I haven’t yet decided what path to take when I graduate. Working abroad is something I continue to dream about. Taking a shorter international trip is a possibility. Or maybe it’s smarter to hunker down, search for a job, and go nowhere. Is the best compromise traveling within the US? I just don’t know. I keep come back to the thought of getting a temporary work visa for the Republic of Ireland (given that the UK is basically out of the question due to restrictions on similar visas). It seems financially risky but at the same time, if I don’t do it (or something like it) now–right after grad school, before starting a career (or, um, family?), and before student loan repayments begin–I probably never will. Sigh. Cue quarter life angst. BTW, a blog I’ve been LOVING–in part because of its honest discussion of said angst (here, for example) and its emphasis on travel–is The Wanderlust Project. On that note, travel blogs, that is, I am SO excited that Kay is finally in India!! and just as ecstatic to discover Lost in Cheeseland.

A Year

As I struggle to finish the written component of my Master’s project (which I’m doing in lieu of a thesis), why not take a look back at what I was doing a year ago, in March 2010?

Ah, I was eating delicious food from the farmer’s market that I can no longer go to because it only happens once a week while I’m in class.

Admiring my pretty new opal ring that is still one of my favorite pieces of jewelry. I was not wearing nail polish then, but I hadn’t sworn it off yet. (Yes, I’ve sworn off nail polish.)

No words. Just oohing and awwing.

Oh hey, my house was cleaner than it’s been since last summer.

Aw, and I went to St. Augustine. I’m glad I got to spend the day there while my friend looked at wedding venues over this spring break, because I realize I’ve been to St. Augustine every March for years and that’s a tradition I’d hate to break. It’s so lovely.

A month. I have less than a month left of classes and then a little longer after that to finish up writing (and grading) some papers. And then I graduate! Assuming I pull off this Master’s project, that is. Which reminds me. Better get back to it.

Busy Bee Seeks Advice!

I have had no time to take pictures or write or cook or clean or anything else non-school or work related for that matter. I am just soo busy right now (yeah, I am dying for the day all my posts DON’T talk about how busy I am), but I have been bookmarking inspirational stuff in my Tumblr, like this,

so feel free to check that out in the meantime! (Images from the greatest website of all time, Square America.)

I will say this: I’ve got the travel bug, bad, and I’m dying to get out of the country this summer. But seeing as I am a poor grad student living on a meager income and student loans–and I’m graduating this semester–I’m not sure how feasible this is. I’m also really unskilled at managing all the details involved in planning an international trip so I’m drawn to packages and tours from companies like STA Travel or EF College Break (preferably ones that cater to youngish people even though I’m older than the typical college student). Another option I’ve been looking at is using BUNAC’s services and working abroad. I dunno. ANYONE GOT ANY ADVICE/TIPS/FEEDBACK? I guess I should face the monstrous task of applying for my American passport soon, huh.

Remember these photos I took in Scotland? I want to take a whole bunch more in a whole bunch of new places.

Now excuse me while I get my butt off the computer chair and uncurl my back from hunching over the keyboard. Bout to go running for the first time in years! Take that, New Years resolutions.

Ebb and Flow

If it isn’t obvious, I haven’t been much in the mood for blogging here lately. I’m so incredibly busy with my final semester of graduate school (which includes doing my MA project, balancing two jobs, and serving on a conference committee on top of classes) that I don’t have the time or inspiration. I’d say I’m in a funk. I know this kind of thing has an ebb and flow and I’m sure this won’t be the case for long, but goodness, as of now, I’m trying desperately to climb out of the hole I’m in–just so many humongous tasks to accomplish, so many I’ve fallen behind in, so many more to come in the next few months. My stress has turned into a lot of fear and the fear has turned into avoidance, and now I’m finally trying to conquer some of the stuff I’ve been avoiding.

One thing I have realized is that while I really can’t do anything to make my life less stressful right now beyond conquering my to-do list–there’s just no getting out of all my current obligations–in the future, I will never again spread myself so thin. I have no idea what’s going to happen when I graduate. Will I find a job? If so, will it be a career-oriented one, or something less serious? Will I move back in with my parents? Will I be able to do any traveling? Only time will tell. But whatever the case, I am going to focus more on making myself happy and healthy. (Really I’ve already started, but it’s not fun yet–it’s work. For one thing, I’m finally attempting to overcome my driving phobia and learn how to drive.)

Here are some pictures that cheer me up, all from the fabulous blog An Indian Summer. They’re just all so beautiful. I’ll be keeping these in mind wherever I move next. I love the idea of combining bold colors and patterns with minimal “stuff.”

For Me

I’d like a cute to-do list template for Word (I like to type my lists). Here is a free printable PDF. Somehow it seems like it would make these things more fun.

To Do Week of 11/02/10 (and Beyond):

Keep Coming Back

I’m posting some pictures from the film Amelie (and it’s not the first time) because I’ve recently been thinking about how my decorating taste always comes back to that movie. I can see a million rooms I love on design blogs and in magazines, but they never feel as warm and homey as that movie set does. I think there’s a pretty clear influence of Amelie in my own bedroom, except instead of all the red accented with green, I’ve got the intense green with a little red. I’m dreaming about red now, though.

These are just pictures I gathered from ’round the internet.

Doing.

Over 4 weeks later, I am updating my to-do list.

1. Order all books I haven’t yet bought.
2. Create schedule, including time for working on homework and internship research, and stick to it.
3. Do all homework (reading and writing).
4. Clean house/ do laundry.
5. Start looking ahead to bigger assignments – final papers, presentations, etc.
6. Decide whether I’m doing a thesis or non-thesis project.
7. Come up with general topic, and read through literature I love to develop some kind of approach. Consider further involvement with my internship organization. Find adviser. Update grad coordinator.
8. Complete all steps for Canadian passport.
9. Submit all applications for upcoming scholarships and summer jobs. Check on fellowship money.
10. Make doctors’ appointments.
11. Find out about seeing grandparents in February.
12. Determine whether Scotland trip is possible.
13. Take Herman to vet. And on longer walks.
14. Cook meals ahead of time. Don’t let food go to waste.
15. Wake up earlier and get started earlier.
16. Try not to fantasize too much about running away from it all.

Busy Bee

I’ve just been too busy to think about Wardrobe Remix pictures recently, or even to put much thought into getting dressed at all. Hopefully I’m establishing a better routine and the semester will flow a little more smoothly now that it’s going on the fourth week. Anyway, here’s one from last night. Same white jeans I posted recently. Aint got the energy to switch it up.

Patrick and I went out to dinner at Bistro 1245, which is always fresh and delicious. I love sitting outside at the restaurant late in the day when it’s not so dang hot, but hasn’t cooled down enough that the breeze gives me goosebumps. (I generally get cold at the slightest gust of wind). After, we went and watched a film with some of my Water Politics and Policy classmates. Kind of cool to turn something class-related into a Friday night social event, right? Or just nerdy.

Now it’s rainy, and I have to get to work. I never use my weekends effectively, but it’s vital that this one is productive. Luckily I had an indulgent trip to the grocery store this morning so I have all the food I could ever want–and munching is what keeps me going when I’m doing my work. One of those bad habits you’re supposed to recognize about yourself and put to an end, by, say, chewing a piece of gum. Right.